A thirty-four-year-old husband has been married to his wife, 32, for the last seven years. They’ve been together for fourteen years. However, now the husband doesn’t want to shell out money to cover his wife’s half of the vacation because he has been working hard to bring in money for years and “expenses add up quickly,” so he decided to give his wife a push to get a job so she could help pay for their shared vacations.
Now the husband has turned to Reddit to ask if he was an “a**hole” for making such a demand of his wife. The response was pretty clear. Here’s what the husband wrote:
“I (34M) have been married to my wife (32F) for over seven years and together for 14 years. When she became pregnant (24F at that time), we both decided that she would stay home since we wanted to raise our children with a parent in the household until they were of school age. In between that time, we had a second, and he is getting ready to start classes soon. We also just purchased a home better suited for us.
“Expenses add up quickly, and although I have a good job and we are comfortable financially, that does not leave much room in our budget for frivolous spending. She wishes to take vacations, buy expensive things to decorate the house, and wants to do renovations. I explain to her that we don’t have much disposable income.
“I pay her student loans, the mortgage, insurance (home, health, car). I pay for all the groceries, phone bills. Anything that requires money, I pay for it all. Also, she gets about $100 in her account per week for the things that she buys, usually hair product makeup and crazy organic Instagram skincare routine and treatments. I don’t care how she spends her money, but even with this, she feels as if I resent her when in reality, I think that I’m holding her accountable for our agreement. I ask her for help, and it turns into this big argument, and we end up upset at each other for days or weeks. She tends to hold onto grudges, but I’m tired of it.
“Also, she doesn’t have a license and doesn’t drive, so she doesn’t make shopping trips to the supermarket to get groceries. Everything is dependent on me. I just want some help to take the load off. I asked her to get her license, and it becomes a big issue. She studies for a bit, and then nothing comes of it. I have no downtime since I have to run all the errands or at least always be the chauffeur. AITA for pushing this issue? I would like to have some financial flexibility long term and build up savings and retirement account. Also, have the ability to take vacations and enjoy some downtime.”
Reviews were mixed. But many people felt he was not wrong for being upset.
The husband wrote an update to his message: “Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this and comment on it, your replies have been genuinely helpful to me and have helped me see things from a new and clearer perspective. Much appreciated.”
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